Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
