what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
