yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...