You're so nebulous sometimes
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked