; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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