just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?