All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here