Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.