yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
