I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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