how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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