My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I could have mohawked her pubes.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
