we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
