I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
As shirtless as possible
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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