This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
