yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
