I will die if light touches me.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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