Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
