Duck Duck Cougar?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So vagazzling was a success
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
