i love accidental penises.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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