I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
