So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
