I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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