Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Four minutes until I can fart!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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