He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
