11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
