I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
