dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
