There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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