i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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