need another drink. this is the easiest way
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
