Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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