Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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