Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
