I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
