Will you blow on my dice?
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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