Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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