I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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