It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
