I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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