And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
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i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
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"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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