no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
