hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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