I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
