new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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