She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
