Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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