Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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