i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
