I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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