But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
