Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize