when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I think I won the penis lottery.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize