It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
