I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
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A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
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...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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