so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
