I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
