my soul wont recognize me after tonight
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
