Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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