i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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