He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
