I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
