on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
