Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
